Em Julho consegui desenhar algo sem que tivesse um propósito claro (sem ser o de apenas desenhar) e gostei do resultado. Senti que, afinal, ainda tenho o desenho dentro de mim.
2017 têm sido um ano muito estranho para mim. Tentei refugiar-me nas coisas que precisava de fazer e deixar (quase) tudo o que me dava prazer, mas que por vezes sentia que me sugavam o tempo. O resultado não foi nada produtivo e a minha auto-estima ficou em cacos.
Tenho-me dado conta que é fácil cair nestas espirais, o mais difícil é re-construir e voltar a sentirmo-nos inteiros. Mas uma página de cada vez, lá chegarei.
🇬🇧 I feel that I haven't been able to put the pencil to the paper. It was like I couldn't draw anymore. Nothing felt right and fluid, I could only draw under pressure and they never felt right. Maybe I've been too much pressure on me, or maybe I let myself get defeated by the fear of failure and make things wrong.
In July I was able to make some free drawings, drawings without a purpose (unless the one of the drawing) and I was happy the end result. I felt that I still had the drawing in me.
2017 has been a very odd year for me. I tried to take refuge in the things I needed to do and (almost) leave all the things I did for pleasure but that I felt were stealing my time. The result was not productive and my self-esteem took a big blow.
I learned that it's quite easy to fall in these black holes, the hard part is to get back on your feet and rebuild things around you. But one page at the time, I will get there again.